Renewed Spirit

I've got to admit.  As I alluded to in one of my last post, I had a rough November, December and early January.  Really dreary days.  I tried to let go of the pressures but many days they got the best of me.  Thankfully, I am surrounded by an encouraging group of ladies in my Community Bible Study leadership team who are all more experienced in life than I am.  One of those ladies just kept encouraging me to press into the Lord.  Seek Him.  Don't give in to the fiery darts.  Put on the armor of God daily...even when your heart doesn't feel like it.  So I did.  I read alot from Streams in the Dessert and continued our study of 1 Peter.  There haven't been many times where I can pinpoint major change in my heart.  My faith and relationship with Jesus have just matured slowly over the years.  But I definitely experienced an answer to prayers a few weekends ago.  

I travelled to San Antonio to meet my sweet sister while she attended a ultrasound seminar.  We had a great time on Saturday afternoon...window shopping, talking, taking in a movie that pulled at my heart (Country Strong gave me an overwhelming sense of compassion for addiction and living with guilt), had dinner with my aunt and uncle.  Sunday was a different good.  Angel had class all day with the exception of meal time.  I woke up and spent the morning in God's word.  I read and prayed and reflected -- uninterrupted (moms of preschoolers, you know this is in itself is priceless).  I read 1 Peter; I read Psalms.  I just took in every minute of silence that was allotted me.  God met me and refreshed me.  He is faithful to His word and my prayer:

Psalms 51:10 Create in me a pure heart, O God, 
   and renew a steadfast spirit within me. 
11 Do not cast me from your presence 
   or take your Holy Spirit from me. 
12 Restore to me the joy of your salvation 
   and grant me a willing spirit, to sustain me.

I am encouraged that God created me to be His unique child, with a purpose so much greater than the stuff of this world.  Although I am in constant need to recall the scripture "Do everything without complaining..."(Phil 4:12) or "Your (God's) grace is sufficient..."(2 Cor 12:9), God longs for what is best for me and wants what is best from me.  Music always helps me to reflect on my heart, my own life. This song is so uplifting.  My God thinks I'm beautiful.

Here's some things He loves about me (or at least covers with His grace).

• I love to dance and sing at the top of my lungs to to 80's & 90's country hits....the ones I listened to growing up in my parents' cabinet shop and riding down the road in my dad's Ford trucks.  
• I cannot keep my closet organized.  Just can't put the laundry away or fold the clothes that I take off that aren't dirty. 31, just don't see that changing anytime soon.
• I get so excited when I'm studying the Bible and make a connection between the Old Testament and the New Testament or learn some Greek meaning of a word that I had only understood from a 21st century American perspective.
• I love to lift heavy stuff and get pumped when I finish a workout that had me terrified before I began.
• I'm learning to learn from failing...especially in the kitchen.  I don't have to stick with everything that is FOR SURE going to turn out just the way I planned.
• Ok, that one goes for more than just the kitchen.
• I have a passion for leading women in learning God's word and what it can reveal to them personally.
• I can give up on trying to be perfect.  I can just be the me He created.
• I love hugs and kisses from my babies and I love to read with them and watch them play together.
• I want my marriage and our home and everything Drew & I touch to glorify God.
• I can get bogged down by the little things.  But He is faithful to give me perspective and remind me not to sweat the small stuff...my purpose is so much more.

Whatever it is, He loves me.  I don't have to prove myself to Him.  He knows my heart.  And He will be the one to judge it.

Giving my life to the only One who makes the moon reflect the sun...all those starry nights, those were His design ~ Chris August